Because It's All About Meme

Roadchick tagged me with this Meme (The Chick rocks!) and I am passing it along to several of you. Roadchick is my favorite "third person blogger" and I have elected to do this in third person for the very spirit of it.

Here are the rules:

Each player of this game starts with the "6 Weird Things about You." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog!"

Six Weird Things About Autrice:

1. Autrice has issues with fruit flavored miniature marshmallows. Does anyone remember these horrid things? They came in a variety of pastel colours and were sickly sweet. Autrice's Mum brought home a bag of these little treats (along with a bag of the regular large white marshmallows) and some toothpicks. Autrice was to make sculptures! O! Toddler Heaven! O! Joy! She made dogs and birds, giraffes and elephants. Mostly, Autrice ate a lot of sugar. Never, ever overeat miniature fruit flavored marshies, dear readers. Puking them is a sinister feeling that will haunt you until your dying day. Autrice can not even look at a bag of them, and she is fighting back her gag reflex as she writes this.

2. Autrice can not stand having her hair out of place. She wore it very short (in boyish styles; no Butch mullets here!) for over twenty years. Better Half asked if Autrice would grow it out longer. Autrice has complied, although her hair is naturally bulky and flat. She thought herself to be a clever woman and had it permed to give it volume. Now Autrice's hair is a fright wig of epic proportions! She is tempted to have a nuclear meltdown every time she steps in front of her mirror. Her obsessive Hair Neatness Issue fuels her appearance anxiety, yet Autrice refuses to chop it all off. Curiously, the chaotic mop on her head seems to give Autrice a morbid rush. "Autrice, you sadist!" There is bliss to be found in self-denial and punishment.

3. Autrice's husband, Better Half, analyzes radio telescope data from SETI in his spare time. She finds this fascinating and weird - and geeky! Having said that, she also runs the program when she is online because "every little bit of effort helps!" (If you would like to participate, click here. It is from Berkeley.)

4. Autrice can not stand all the little cardboard ads and cards that are inserted into her magazines. They hinder her reading pleasure by causing the magazine pages to lay oddly. What is the first thing Autrice does when her magazines arrive in the mail? She frantically flips through the issue, tearing out anything that resembles cardboard. Perfume samples, subscription cards, adverts for medications, mail-order gifts - all hastily removed. Autrice will even cancel a subscription should a magazine contain too many of these items. Autrice no longer orders any secular magazines (with the exception of Reader's Digest, and even that is on the chopping block.) Gone are "Red Book" and "Better Homes". She will hesitantly shake Better Half's food and wine magazines before reading them, just to make sure those nasty cards will not jump out at her. Autrice's trade journals do not contain cardboard ads. The expense of the journal means that it need not rely upon Viagra ads.

5. Autrice reads her newspaper starting with the comics. She then reads the advice columns and from there she progresses to the news. She never reads the sports pages.

6. Autrice does not know how to be a girl. Autrice's good friends often find humor in that horrible fact. Autrice does not know what creams to use to make her face pretty. She can not pick out an outfit to buy. She prefers to dress in a boyish style and can not tolerate skirts or pantyhose. She has no idea what her skin tone is. She does know not to purchase cheap skin care products, but she has no idea what "good" products to buy. Autrice was a tomboy as a child and did not get along with the other little girls at school. She has never had a "giggling girlfriend" to gossip with. Autrice is quite saddened by this, and her fondest wish is to have a mentor enter her life to better teach her how to be soft and beautiful. She is torn between her favored boyish styles, and the desire to embrace her beautiful Italian features. She settles for mop hair and the occasional bottle of perfume.

If you happen to be reading this, and have reached this paragraph, consider yourself to be "tagged". The following three people have been chosen: David, Annieelf, Paris Parfait. Several of my other friends have already been tagged with this Meme. Damn.