Pharmaceuticals and Caribou

This sabbatical has taken much longer than expected, and I apologize to my regular readers for leaving them out in the cold. Thank you for all the warm email wishes. At least I feel good. I feel much better than I did the day before. To feel good (to feel well) is to feel alive.

I would like to thank all the little people who made this wonderful event of "feeling good" possible, like Glaxo Smith Kline.

What an interesting topic. Alas, I shall not waste any effort to untangle the treacherous web of pharmaceutical manufacturers. I shall say that, in 2005, Old GSK's pharmaceutical sales accounted for 18.88 billion Pounds Sterling, with was roundly 86% of their total sales. 6.9 billion Pounds Sterling was their profit. Don't we all love those clever Brits? How about some shits and giggles? I found a conversion table: $33,883,192,823.84. "B" as in Billion dollars.

Billions. I think I will be sick. Excuse me whilst I go pop a pill. Never fear! It is a generic one, manufactured by Watson Pharmaceuticals, a humble little joint that provides us with generic formulas to better usurp funds from those tricky Brits at GSK. Watson does respectfully, and reports indicate that for the six months (ended June 30, 2006), total net revenue increased 12 percent to $917.6 million, as compared to $817.1 million for the first six months of 2005. Net income for the first six months of 2006 was $9.6 million, or $0.09 per basic and diluted share, as compared to net income of $79.1 million, or $0.67 per diluted share, for the same period of 2005.

Million. Much more soothing than Billion. I feel better scarfing my name-brand knock off poison now, knowing in soul that I am supporting good old American attitude. I shall now move to Canada to take advantage of the one thing our country can not seem to provide: socialized health care.

"Canada's health care system is a group of socialized health insurance plans that provides coverage to all Canadian citizens. It is publicly funded and administered on a provincial or territorial basis, within guidelines set by the federal government.

Under the health care system, individual citizens are provided preventative care and medical treatments from primary care physicians as well as access to hospitals, dental surgery and additional medical services. With a few exceptions, all citizens qualify for health coverage regardless of medical history, personal income, or standard of living."

Take that, GSK!

I have always wanted to live in Thunder Bay (that is in Ontario, dear readers), and dance upon the majestic shores as bald eagles and Peregrine falcons soar free over my head. I would, in all probably, dance myself off a damned rock and crack my skull on the ground, to be run over by a rogue caribou as I slip into unconsciousness. Not to worry, I will have free health care in Canada, and Watson makes generic hydrocodone to ease my pains.

I could save myself some trouble and move to England, another land of The Free Health Care System, but I'm deathly afraid of Routemaster double-decker buses. I know they were thinned out in the 1980's, but I just will not take the chance of walking near Trafalgar Square and having one jump out at me suddenly. People have been gruesomely mauled by Routemasters, and the 1208GMT 159 bus out of Marble Arch is know to be especially savage.

Aut? What are you on?

Please do not ask that again. You do know I that hate to share.

5 responded with...:

TMTW said...

PS to that:

Some of my most cherished friends are British, Canadian and American. Hence, my satire is aimed solely at the drug manufacturers, caribou and double-decker busses.

Anonymous said...

I've gotten up to Thunder Bay
for a weekend.

Nice people.

Large amounts of amythyst.

Kakabeka Falls is also quite impressive.


Annie Jeffries said...

Well, Toni, you are BACK, primed and ready. Good to see you. LMAO

Annie Jeffries said...

Well Toni, you are BACK, primed and ready. Good to see you. LMAO.

sophie said...

i'm on poetry:)

love my healthcare system...