State of the King's Realm

"The Gentry are all round, stand up now, stand up now,   
The Gentry are all round, stand up now;  
The Gentry are all round, on each side they are found,  
Their wisdom's so profound to cheat us of our ground.  
Stand up now, stand up now…"
~ The Diggers Song 

I am not by nature a political creature. The daily comings and goings of Lord Obama and the Gentry are best left to the warbling imagination of far-wing dogmamongers. On occasion, per my want, I take notice.

The proletarians and petit-bourgeois of the Realm can’t help but question our Queen’s recent activities, especially as they seem to contradict the King's Will.

“Everyone must sacrifice for the greater good… Everyone must have some skin in the game,” His Majesty proclaimed ere He signed His ineffectual $787 billion stimulus bill into law in 2009.

What shall be sacrificed if not creature comforts? Does everyone recall Thermostatgate?

The capital flew into a bit of a tizzy when, on his first full day in the White House, President Obama was photographed in the Oval Office without his suit jacket. There was, however, a logical explanation: Mr. Obama, who hates the cold, had cranked up the thermostat. ~ Dave Burdick , The Huffington Post 

Lord Obama is best known as our Traveling King, oft departed from New Camelot in a bid to find the Holy Grail. He has visited all fifty-seven States of the Realm, treating his subjects to upbeat speeches and blue promises, and He has visited those States several times over. During his reign, the Royal Family has enjoyed lavish trips to Europe. There have been delightful vacations in Hawaii. His Majesty once treated His admirable Queen to a romantic dinner in Chicago. And now our beloved Lady has taken the Royal Princesses to ski.

How can we begrudge the Queen her respite? The strain of New Camelot is great, and the King's “personal fiscal prudency” proclamations only apply to peasants and their snot-caked brats. Surely the subjects will not mind treating the Princesses to a ski trip. It allows them to get out of the castle and mingle with the subjects. Exposure at a young age can lead to lasting positive impressions.

The petit-bourgeois, already straining to make ends meet, are not pleased with these arrangements. Their mortgages oppressively hang over them; they did not spend beyond their means and thus they do not qualify for the King’s “assistance”. Their elderly and their disabled are slowly starving because the King would not bend his mind towards an increase in their promised-pensions. Their wounded soldiers suffer from the same oversight. The price of a Royal Skiing trip would equate to several house payments, more than three month’s groceries and perhaps a new winter coat for the missus and children. The petit-bourgeois have cut back on their spending, per Lord Obama’s command, but to what end?


King Barack, Queen Elizabeth II, Queen Michelle, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. The Royal couple visited the Court of Lilliput before moving on to Brobdingnag.

My thanks to Steffanie Lochim for the "oil paintings". I could not locate the artist to give them proper credit.

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