What's on TV tonight, dear?

ABC Family Worldwide Inc. has put forth their usual excellent holiday programming as well as a disparaging amount of pop sop, proving without a shadow of a doubt that a lot of asinine Christmas productions have been made for the sake of cheap entertainment.

Case in point for bad holiday programming: Christmas Cupid. As described by the IMDb, this pint-sized Dickens knock-off features Christina Milian and Ashley Benson. “Sloan [Milian] is beautiful, stylish, and on the fast track to success at her public relations firm. After her client Caitlin ends up in a coma and becomes her own personal ghost of Christmas past, present, and future; she finds out first hand that her unethical ways needs to change and reuniting with a past jilted lover may be the answer.”

Taped breasts and trendy costumes abound, to be sure. Perhaps it’s unethical that male viewers will recapture the same warm fuzzy holiday feeling that they first experienced while watching Milian perform in American Pie.  A comatose co-star just can’t cure that.

One of my favorite bits of holiday film dialog is from Scrooged, shared between network president Frank Cross and the visiting censor representative:

Frank Cross: I want to see her nipples.

Censor Lady: But this is a CHRISTMAS show.

Frank Cross: Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples.

Carpenter: You can barely see them nipples.

Frank Cross: See? And these guys are REALLY looking.

I’m old-school. If you want to make a holiday movie for kids, be original. Avoid gaudy, for goodness sake.  And puppies. Santa Buddies? Please.

Want to step back in time? Quality holiday programming isn’t hard to come by. The Bishop’s Wife, White Christmas and It’s a Wonderful Life? Perfect. Cartoons? Try A Charlie Brown Christmas  or How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Like Muppets? John Denver had a TV special called Rocky Mountain Christmas  that featured Valerie Harper, Steve Martin and the Muppets.

Iconic?  How about Rankin-Bass and their wooden models covered in fabric and fluff. Their stop-motion TV specials have delighted children for decades. Adults find them campy, clever or inane, depending upon whom you talk with. 

No matter what your children watch, take time out of your evening to join them.  Allow yourself to become lost in an inspirational program. Be a child again. Share your favorites here.