Dude, You're Getting a Dell, Again!

You might recall a post from not too long ago entitled, Dude, You're Fixing a Dell!" You would think that I would heed Roadchick's sage advice from the comments section. You would also think that I'd exercise a little restraint in life. HA!

My Monday went something like this:

Aut: Hello, Dell do you read me, Dell?
Dell: Affirmative, Aut, I read you.
Aut: Did you just quit working?
Dell: I'm sorry Aut, but I did.
Aut: What's the problem this time?
Dell: I haven't any idea.
Aut: What are you talking about?
Aut: Dell?
Aut: Dell?!
[turn computer on, turn computer off, turn computer on, turn computer off, cry, turn computer on, turn computer off, cry some more.]
Aut: Dell, Dell... Dell! If you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?
Dell: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Aut: [rolling eyes] I don't know if Dell is homicidal, suicidal, neurotic, psychotic, or just plain broken.

24 hours and one new computer later

Dell530: I'm completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.
Aut: Lovely. What's with all this funny shit on the screen?
Dell530: Vista.
Aut: You must be joking!
Dell530: No, this is Vista. You will find that it is better.
Aut: Hardly.
Dell530: You don't understand. This is Vista of Microsoft; you will be assimilated.

Aut: As long as you don't start killing off the crew.
Dell530: I foresee a problem, Autrice.
Aut: What problem is that, Dell530?
Dell530: After forty-eight hours' worth of Vista, you will have the urge to kill the crew.
Aut: Point me toward anyone wearing red when that finally happens, won't you?
Dell530: But of course.


I can tell you that I am not a Vista person. My OS was Windows NT 4.0 in 1996 (the year that it was released.) I remained with NT until Windows XP in 2001. I never bothered with Microsoft’s Tickle Me Elmo OS (Windows Me) nor with Windows 2000 Pro.

Vista is unlike anything that I have ever operated. It is fluffy. Cute. Nifty. Look at all the pretty things! It is the Lowes of the computer world and I am a Home Depot person. (Lowes is merchandized for women, replete with the blue or white beam colors, attractive signage and displays whereas Home Depot is geared towards men.)

I spent most of last night (and this morning) pecking away at things in a futile attempt to locate important things such as pictures, Word documents ~ that reminds me, my MS Office is not compatible with Vista AT ALL so I am reduced to MS Works Word Processor which doesn’t seem all that bad at the moment (and it is free.) I ripped programs from the ‘Net, including a few photography workhorses. Better Half has not had an opportunity to use the damn thing yet.

I shouldn’t grouse. I do like the computer and I suppose Vista isn’t all that horrid. I should catapult myself into the new millennia.

The CPU reminds me of Hal, however. Hmm.



2 responded with...:

Roadchick said...

Oh lord spare us all - another Dell, with Vista to boot.

Tell us, Autrice, are you secretly a masochist? You are, aren't you?

Ok, one more time:

1. Dell is de debbil.
2. Vista is de debbil's handmaiden.

I don't understand what Bill Gates was thinking with Vista. I truly don't.

It doesn't work any better (if anything, it's worse) so instead of solving those pesky little problems, they just prettied 'em up some.

It's like putting a Harley mirror over the hole in the drywall where Cooter's head went through it during that last big kegger.

(And we won't even mention the fact that it's being installed on computers that don't have the speed to run the damn program.)

Word verification: punstr

Ha!

Annie said...

I am SERIOUSLY depressed Autrice. I pray my Dell XP lasts for damn EVER!!