Dude, You're Getting a Dell, Again!

You might recall a post from not too long ago entitled, Dude, You're Fixing a Dell!" You would think that I would heed Roadchick's sage advice from the comments section. You would also think that I'd exercise a little restraint in life. HA!

My Monday went something like this:

Aut: Hello, Dell do you read me, Dell?
Dell: Affirmative, Aut, I read you.
Aut: Did you just quit working?
Dell: I'm sorry Aut, but I did.
Aut: What's the problem this time?
Dell: I haven't any idea.
Aut: What are you talking about?
Aut: Dell?
Aut: Dell?!
[turn computer on, turn computer off, turn computer on, turn computer off, cry, turn computer on, turn computer off, cry some more.]
Aut: Dell, Dell... Dell! If you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?
Dell: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Aut: [rolling eyes] I don't know if Dell is homicidal, suicidal, neurotic, psychotic, or just plain broken.

24 hours and one new computer later

Dell530: I'm completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.
Aut: Lovely. What's with all this funny shit on the screen?
Dell530: Vista.
Aut: You must be joking!
Dell530: No, this is Vista. You will find that it is better.
Aut: Hardly.
Dell530: You don't understand. This is Vista of Microsoft; you will be assimilated.
Aut: As long as you don't start killing off the crew.
Dell530: I foresee a problem, Autrice.
Aut: What problem is that, Dell530?
Dell530: After forty-eight hours' worth of Vista, you will have the urge to kill the crew.
Aut: Point me toward anyone wearing red when that finally happens, won't you?
Dell530: But of course.


I can tell you that I am not a Vista person. My OS was Windows NT 4.0 in 1996 (the year that it was released.) I remained with NT until Windows XP in 2001. I never bothered with Microsoft’s Tickle Me Elmo OS (Windows Me) nor with Windows 2000 Pro.

Vista is unlike anything that I have ever operated. It is fluffy. Cute. Nifty. Look at all the pretty things! It is the Lowes of the computer world and I am a Home Depot person. (Lowes is merchandized for women, replete with the blue or white beam colors, attractive signage and displays whereas Home Depot is geared towards men.)

I spent most of last night (and this morning) pecking away at things in a futile attempt to locate important things such as pictures, Word documents ~ that reminds me, my MS Office is not compatible with Vista AT ALL so I am reduced to MS Works Word Processor which doesn’t seem all that bad at the moment (and it is free.) I ripped programs from the ‘Net, including a few photography workhorses. Better Half has not had an opportunity to use the damn thing yet.

I shouldn’t grouse. I do like the computer and I suppose Vista isn’t all that horrid. I should catapult myself into the new millennia.

The CPU reminds me of Hal, however. Hmm.